It's been different. I cannot explain how terrified I am to face each day because every step I take is magnified. I am finally out of my comfort zone, something that I have been wanting to face for the longest of time thinking that this was supposed to be the zest of life. I'm not sure if being petrified out of my wits is part of this whole situation that I am in, I've never been this scared with something new before.

As a person, I know my own capabilities. And in that fact, I have lots of opinion. It seems so difficult to want to express how I feel and what could be improved in a situation to someone of a higher standard than me. Personally I just feel that my state of mind does not matter to anyone. I mumble a lot when I speak. Namely because I lack of experience and the root of it all, education. It hurts so much right now why I didn't make the right choice in the past, why I didn't do it right at all. I am struggling and have been finding ways to get myself out of this situation, this tangled mess.

They say I have the easiest job in the world, but every situation has to have progress. Sure I help out on a lot, but the conscience and background of my life questions my worth. Especially not when someone is breathing down my neck. The world's out there again and she's making me nervous. I do not know who I should seek to make myself feel better because every great person that I know is financially equipped and they have never been to where I am.

I'm 20 this year and I am loosing a lot of time. I need to sort this out. I am scared, I am petrified, & I need help.